Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting out of the Box

ReaderStrength™

Resources for Leaders

Vol. #11 11/18/03, Deanne G. Bryce, editor

ReaderStrength™ is published monthly

©LeaderStrength Systems, Inc. 2003

Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting out of the Box

by The Arbinger Insititute

Leaders get results through people. The way leaders perceive themselves and others determines their actions and ultimately their results. Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting out of the Box by The Arbinger Insititute is an interesting book because of its focus on self-awareness and reflection, two important behaviors for every leader.

Self-deception is best described by the example the author presents in the introduction to the book…

“An infant is learning to crawl. She begins by pushing herself backward around the house. Backing herself around, she gets lodged beneath the furniture. There she thrashes about crying and banging her little head against the sides and undersides of the pieces. She is stuck and hates it. So she does the only thing she can think of to get herself out she pushes even harder, which only worsens her problem. She is more stuck than ever.”

The author points out that if the infant could talk she would blame the obstacles for her troubles. We grown ups act in the same manner when we get into difficult circumstances. We think the problem is outside of ourselves because we know we have done everything we can think of to get unstuck, yet we remain lodged in unwanted places. This is self-deception. This perspective presents a barrier to our ability to see things clearly and get out of difficult circumstances.

The book is divided into three sections:

Part I: Self-Deception and the “Box”

Part II: How we Get in the Box

Part III: How we Get out of the Box

The “box” is a metaphor for seeing oneself as a victim. We all deceive ourselves when we betray or act in ways that go against what we know deep down we should do for another person. For example if I don’t listen to what a client wants and I create a learning plan that they don’t like, I blame them instead of myself. I make up stories in my head about how I am right and they are wrong. Once a person has betrayed themselves from acting in ways that they intuitively know as right, they start justifying their behavior to themselves and begin to see other people having worse character traits than they themselves possess.

Each of the three sections contain eight chapters that are woven into a story, written in first person. We learn the information through the eyes of the main character, Tom who is a new senior manager at the fictitious Zagrum Company. While the information presented in the book is relevant and insightful, the story feels contrived. It was the boss who was enlightening the main character Tom. This reinforces the desire of many managers to find the “perfect” company or boss who exhibit strong leadership and a willingness to mentor other leaders. A more realistic and useful approach would be to have Tom come to terms with his own leadership abilities and overcome the real-world struggles of a resistant boss and executive team.

Despite this minor distraction with how the content is presented, ReaderStrength recommends this book because people who lead others can only do so when they accept personal responsibility for change first within themselves. People follow leaders automatically when they see that the person has a vision and is willing to accept responsibility for achieving it. A long-term effective leader will see themselves and others on equal footing.

About ReaderStrength™

We humans have been writing about leadership for more than 2000 years. Is there anything new and exciting to be said about the subject? Perhaps not, but still we hunger for information and inspiration. ReaderStrength is an e-publication that adds value to your busy life as a leader by pointing you toward books to fuel your inspiration as you lead yourself and others. Send us your ideas and favorite leadership books so that we can share them with others.

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November 25, 2003.

We will be presenting at the Philadelphia Region Organizational Development Network.

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dbryce@leaderstrength.com • Leader Strength Systems