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 Change
Your Questions Change Your Life
by Marilee G. Adams, Ph.D.
ReaderStrength
Rating:
Focus 3
Build 3
Adapt 4
Overall Rating as a leadership
resource 3.3
(Please see "How Do We Evaluate Resources?" in right column)
Do you think you need to know all the answers in order to perform well
at your job? Ben Knight, a fictional character in Marilee Adam's book,
Change Your
Questions, Change Your Life, prides himself as the
person anyone can come to for the answers. When he sees people on his
team running off in all directions, a co-worker blocking all his
efforts, and his production schedule falling apart, he notices that he
does not have any answers and is ready to quit.
With coaching, Ben learns that questions, not answers, are the key to
his success. According to the author, Ben is not unique. Whether we
know it or not, the questions we form in our mind shape our decisions
and our actions.
>From this basic premise the book teaches readers that the questions
we ask ourselves and others, take us down one of two paths:
The Judger Path-
this path leads us to automatic reactions, a focus on blame, and
win-lose relationships.
The Learner Path-
this path leads us to thoughtful choices, a solution-oriented focus
and win-win relationships.
The book provides several tools that allow us to become aware of which
path we are on. The first tool is a list of questions we can ask
ourselves and others when we face a problem.
Judger Questions
What's wrong?
Who's to blame?
How can I prove I am right?
How can I protect my turf?
How can I be in control?
How could I lose?
How could I get hurt?
Why is that person so clueless and frustrating?
Why bother?
Learner Questions
What works?
What am I responsible for?
What are the facts?
What is the big picture?
What are my choices?
What is useful about this?
What can I learn?
What is the other person feeling, needing and wanting?
What's possible?
Usually we are not aware of the questions that we ask, or of how easy
it is to slip off the Learner Path onto the Judger Path. Keeping the
Learner-Judger Questions readily available for frequent review allows
us to be more aware.
Another tool is the Choice Map, which provides a visual representation
of the concepts taught. By looking at the Choice Map, one learns that,
"when we are standing in Judger mode, the whole world can look pretty
bleak."
Although the book has a fictional setting, it holds lessons not only
for the workplace environment, but for our entire life experience. The
author concludes the book with a seven-step Question Thinking Workbook
to help us utilize the tools presented in the story. Oftentimes we
find ourselves in a situation where a course correction in our
thinking, or in our interactions with others, will lead to the results
we really want. One of the points from the workbook is to learn to use
Switching Questions to transition from the Judger Path to the Learner
Path or into Learner possibilities.
Recommendation
We recommend this book because it meets all three criteria for
assisting people in the leadership process. Leadership is a
results-based process of focusing on a new future. Using the Learner
Path, a leader can see a brighter future with more options. The
Leadership process also includes building new relationships and
skills, and adapting along the way. The tools in the book are helpful
to use for noticing and responding to a situation while it is
happening.
Noticing and responding in the moment is a skill that doesn't come
without training the brain. Readers of the book may feel frustrated
that they can't apply the tools recommended. What's missing is
strength in the prefrontal cortex, the conscious part of our brain. If
we haven't done the heavy lifting of brain training, we will struggle
to use the cognitive tools presented in this book. See our
Brain Byte
column to the right for more information on how to do that |
Brain Byte
As Dr. Adams states in her book, "when we are standing in Judger
mode, the whole world can look pretty bleak."
This statement is very true from a brain perspective. Our brain's
emotional system, the midbrain region called the limbic system,
recognizes trouble before we are consciously aware that there is a
problem. Unchecked, our emotional system might easily start asking
the first question on the judger path, "What's wrong?" With that,
this system begins automatically to send cortisol, a major stress
chemical, into the body. This is the beginning of a cascade of
neural events that lead to fewer options rather than more.
Our brain has developed in such a way that it notices negative or
trouble spots more readily than positive aspects of situations.
This was needed, way back when, to ensure our survival in a
hostile environment. The process occurs without our conscious
awareness; taking place in subcortical parts of the brain that are
not accessible to the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex is
the part of our brain that enables us to make conscious choices
and to execute deliberate action.
This unconscious process of noticing and responding to negative
stimuli is not appropriate or useful for today's situations and
events. Fortunately, we can update the functioning of our brains
by training them to perform differently. We can train our
prefrontal cortex to notice and stop a negative reaction before it
takes over. We can guide it to look for positive situations and
possibilities. The Choice Map is one of many cognitive tools that
can provide support for re-training the brain for learning and
choice.
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About ReaderStrength
ReaderStrength is
an e-publication that saves you time. We review books that will fuel
your inspiration as you lead yourself and others.
Each issue is archived at our website.
click here
How Do We Evaluate Resources?
All of the books we review are evaluated on how they support a
leader’s progress in applying our working definition of leadership.
We teach leaders to: Focus, Build, and Adapt:
Focus: A leader is able to see
a new future.
Build: A leader can build from
his or her strengths as a foundation, adding on new skills,
knowledge, and attitudes to create the new future.
Adapt: A leader is skilled at
using feedback from their own thinking, other people’s reactions,
and results/information from their environments to self-correct and
keep moving toward the new future they envisioned.
Our Rating System:
Outstanding 4
Good 3
Satisfactory 2
Unsatisfactory 1
Focus- How well does this book
inspire a vision of a new future?
Build- How well does this book
teach new knowledge and skills?
Adapt-How well does this book
assist readers in examining and optimizing their own behaviors?
Overall Rating as a Leadership Resource:
We average the ratings in the above three categories. |
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Upcoming Workshops by LeaderStrength Systems, Inc.. |
Leadership Certificate Program at Burlington County College*
Leading for Results:
May 17, 2006
Supervisory Skills:
May 24, 2006
Communication and
Interpersonal Skills: May 31, 2006
Presentation Skills:
June 7, 2006
Dealing with Difficult
People: June 14, 2006
How to Motivate & Inspire!:
June 21, 2006
High-Performance Team
Building: June 28, 2006
* Certificate requirements are that you complete Leading for
Results plus 4 additional workshops.
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Superb Supervision
June 13, 2006
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June 22, 2006
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Washington Campus
Project Management:
TBA
Leading for Results:
May 12, 2006
Project Team
Effectiveness: June 15, 2006
Fox Reader's Club is now reading
Resonant Leadership
The next meeting will be facilitated by Deanne Bryce
at Independence Brew Pub at 1150 Filbert Street, Philadelphia
on May 11, 2006 at 6pm
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